We Hurt Those We Love the Most
by Robert Cora Fan
Summary: Cora tries  and fails  to prevent Robert investigating the Pamuk affair. AU/extension of Season 2 Episode 1 scene.
1. Chapter 1

_AU/extension of scene in Season 2 Episode 1.  
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_Strong T rating._**  
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**Chap 1**

"Mr Bates left because had he not done so, his wife was planning to engulf this house in scandal."

The Earl of Grantham had laughed. Scandals didn't happen at Downton, of all places. His butler seemed convinced yet refused to reveal any details. The only clue Robert was able to discover was "not betraying her." It could only, he thought, mean Mary. There was surely no one else Carson would protect. Yet what scandal could Mary possibly be involved in? Yes, she was certainly head-strong and highly strung, but not foolish. Somehow she had been responsible for his valet leaving. He remembered with shame the way he had treated Bates when he left. He wondered if there was any way of contacting him, if only to apologise.

He reached his wife's bedroom, glad to finally get to bed. Cora watched Robert fiddle with the belt of his dressing gown. He seemed to be taking an age to come to bed. If he takes any longer with that dressing gown, she thought with a smirk, I'll come over and remove it myself.

"Is anything the matter?" She knew he was disappointed after his regimental dinner, how desperate he was to get to the front. Yet there was something else. He looked puzzled and worried.

Robert looked up and finally took the dressing gown off. "Nothing. Except that today has shown me that I am not only a worthless man but a bad-tempered and ungrateful one."

"Well, we all know that." She smiled at him affectionately and was rewarded with the briefest of smiles before he went back to his brooding. What had happened? Who had he upset? Her husband was such a decent man - she knew from experience the guilty soul-searching he felt whenever he lost his temper.

"Can I help?" He still didn't respond, merely getting into bed.

Her husband clearly wasn't going to tell her what bothering him. So she changed the subject, assuming he would simply apologise to whoever he had offended. "By the way, Mary wants Sir Richard to come and stay. So we can all meet him."

Mention of Mary reminded Robert once again of what his butler had said. He raised his voice and enunciated every word, the way he did when he was angry. "She wants us to invite a hawker of newspaper scandal to stay as a guest in this house? It's lucky I have a sense of irony."

It was now Cora's turn to be puzzled and worried. The word "scandal" inevitably made her think of Pamuk. She was grateful that Robert did not know about _that _scandal. Yet what other scandal could there be? She had to find out.

"What do you mean, darling?" He didn't reply. She was becoming irritated - why did he always want to protect her from anything unpleasant? She cuddled close to him, gently massaging his chest in a familiar routine. When she felt him begin to calm down, she tried again. "Robert?"

Robert groaned. He could never hide things from Cora, not when she was this close to him. "Carson said Bates left to prevent a scandal."

Of course._ Bates._ She wasn't surprised her husband's valet was involved in scandal, not after all the problems he had already caused. As far as she was concerned, they were glad to be rid of him. She relaxed, slipping her hand under Robert's shirt to slowly stroke the hairs on his chest.

Robert breathed deeply, very aware of Cora's fingers tickling his chest and stomach. He reached for her hand and kissed it. The "scandal", he decided could most certainly wait until the morning. Carson was probably just being melodramatic. He shifted on to his side, facing her and resting his hand provocatively on her thigh, easing her nightgown higher. "Don't worry," he murmured, more to himself than Cora. "I'll talk to Mary in the morning." He moved to kiss her lips and was surprised when she jumped back.

"Mary?" She hadn't meant her voice to come out so panicky and shocked. Why on earth was Robert going to talk to _Mary_? She pushed the thought of Kamal Pamuk from her mind.

He shouldn't have mentioned it - Cora was so protective of their daughters, Mary especially. "Carson wouldn't tell me anything. Who else would he protect?" He pulled her close and tried kissing her again, sighing when he got no response.

"What's that got to do with Bates?" She had to stay calm - she needed to find out exactly Carson had told Robert.

"Bates left to prevent his wife from publishing the scandal." Scandal - the word sounded foolish now. "There' s nothing to worry about. Mary's obviously just committed some minor faux-pas or oversight. You know what a stickler Carson is for doing things properly." As far as he was concerned, the matter was finished for the night. He kissed her neck softly, slowly working his way down.

Cora squirmed. She was finding it hard to think clearly. For once, it had nothing to do with what Robert was doing. She tried to work out why Bates (and his wife!) would know about the scandal. Anna must have confided in him. Robert's kisses had reached her collar bone now, his hand…she shifted, putting her hand on his shoulder to put some distance between them.

Heaving an over-dramatic sigh, he released her and collapsed back onto the bed. He turned round - why was she so anxious? "What's wrong?" No reply - he wasn't even sure she had heard him.

She could do nothing about Bates now. Carson was obviously too loyal to Mary to tell her husband. Yet the thought of Robert questioning Mary tomorrow…she _would _tell him, in that cold, obstinate way that always angered him.

"Why don't I talk to Mary?"She tried not to sound too desperate. **"**If you talk to her it will only descend into an argument, especially when you start accusing her of something."

Robert rolled his eyes. "Is that all that was bothering you? Of course, you talk to Mary tomorrow then."

Cora's panic subsided slowly. Once she was sure her breathing had returned to normal, she leaned over and kissed him, finally glad of the distraction. Her husband readily responded.

_Everything_, she thought,_ would be alright._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chap 2**

"Thank you, O'Brien. That will be all."

Cora sat at her dressing table, finalising her plans for the day. First Carson - to find out _exactly_ what had happened and how much he had told her husband. She would make sure that he confided in her in future. Next - Mary. She tried to think of an appropriate faux-pas for Mary to "admit" to her father.

A knock on the door. "May I come in?"

Cora turned round and smiled warmly as Robert came in. She always looked forward to their cosy chats over the morning's news and correspondence. He kissed the top of her head softly, then watched her reverently in the mirror as she busied herself with jewellery, perfume and creams.

"Any news of Matthew?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Mary's already scoured the post this morning for a letter in his handwriting."

"She misses him so dreadfully."

"I don't see why. _She_ turned him down. And anyway, how can you miss someone you haven't seen for two years?" He didn't pursue it - he knew Cora didn't agree with him and he needed her help this morning. "Are you ready?"

Cora nodded and smiled up at him. "Why?"

"Mary's waiting in the Library. I thought we could both speak to her today." He noticed her astonished disbelief in the mirror. It was the same astonishment, he observed, she showed last night when he mentioned speaking to Mary.

Robert and Mary simply _could not _meet. She dreaded to think what would happen. "I was going to speak to her-"

"Then let's go down. We can do it together." What on earth was the matter? He tried offering his hand to help her up, and dropped it when he realised she had no intention of taking it.

"I need to speak to her alone. You two," Cora searched for the right words, "you provoke each other." She hoped she was smiling.

"That's why your presence is required, my dear - every match needs its referee!" She didn't laugh. He became more serious. "But I've been thinking about what Carson said - if there _is _anything newsworthy, I will need to speak to Mary and deal with it immediately."

Cora looked at his face in the mirror. He was frowning impatiently. She dreaded him finding out about Pamuk, especially from Mary. She desperately searched her mind for a way out. "What if Mary doesn't tell you anything?"

He shrugged. "I'll ask someone else - Edith, Sybil, the servants? Come on, let's get this unpleasant business over with." She still didn't move. "You don't seem to realise how important it is that any rumours are quashed immediately. It affects Downton's reputation, the girls' prospects, everything.I can't have even the suspicion of scandal at Downton - you know how rumours are spread…Cora!"

She stood up and followed Robert out, unable to find a reason not to. Yet she was still dragging her feet. Robert finally slowed down to walk at her pace.

"Why start with Mary?"

"I've got to start somewhere. You and I both know there's no one else Carson would protect. And-" He remembered something his sister had said - vicious rumours circulating concerning Mary...

"What?"

"Nothing." He _was _worried about Mary. He had always found her difficult. Cora had joked they were too similar, yet he couldn't read Mary - he never knew quite what she was thinking or how she would react. He would be glad of his wife by his side, yet…what was taking her so long?

"When scandal is or any hint of trouble is mentioned, you immediately suspect our eldest daughter." It was something Cora had often told him when the girls were growing up. Unfortunately, thought Cora, this time he's right. "What about one of the servants?"

"You and I both know Carson would have no scruples about telling us by now and the servant in question would be dismissed," he snapped. He was impatient now and becoming increasingly irritated.

They were reaching the door of the Library. Cora tried one last time, by now unable to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"I don't think it's a good time, Robert. She's been so upset lately, since Matthew went. Can't it wait?"

"Cora, WHAT is wrong?" He finally stopped to look at her. "Why are you preventing me from speaking to my own daughter?" Something became shockingly apparent to him. "What are you afraid she will say?" he asked quietly. He studied her face now - she looked nervous and…guilty? No, Cora _couldn't _be involved in all this. Yet he couldn't get that nagging thought from his mind - there _was_ a scandal and Cora was desperately trying to hide it from him. He briskly opened the Library door and ushered Cora inside.

Mary put her book down and looked quizzically at her parents. Her father's jaw was clenched. He was clearly trying to control his temper.

"Mary darling, your father and I need to talk." her mother smiled weakly.

Ordinarily, Mary would ask why she had been kept waiting so long only to be summarily dismissed. But she sensed the tension in the room, recognising the prelude to an argument. She shook her head and left them, closing the door quietly behind her.

Robert turned round. "Well?"

"You'd better sit down."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chap 3**

Robert sat at his writing desk, studying his wife with growing alarm. Cora poured a glass of whisky for her husband. As an afterthought, she poured one for herself. She set his glass down on the desk and sat on the chair next to him. She took a sip from her glass and nearly spat it out again when she tasted it. "You can't raise your voice," she warned. "If anyone hears-"

"For heaven's sake, Cora, stop procrastinating!" He watched her set her whisky glass down (_she doesn't even drink whisky_!) and compose herself. He was terrified now . What could possibly have happened? Why was she so nervous?

Cora thought about a way to break the news gently. "Do you remember the Turkish diplomat Kemal Pamuk?" she began.

He nodded. How could he forget the man who had monopolised Mary all evening? He was so smooth and _foreign _and every female eye in the room seemed trained on him. Even Cora didn't complain when he impudently greeted her by kissing her hand. Robert had already been looking forward to his departure when Carson broke the news of his death in their guest bedroom.

Cora knew her next words would wound her husband. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. "He died in Mary's bed."

Robert looked up at her, slowly processing what she said. _He died in Mary's bed. _He closed his eyes tightly, trying to banish the unpleasant image of Mary and the Turk from his mind."How did he end up in her bed?" he muttered, hoping for an innocent explanation.

"I don't know, darling." She swallowed at the lump in her throat as he watched him grasp what she had said.

He remembered now - Mary flushed and dirty after the hunt, flirting shamelessly with Pamuk in front of Napier and Matthew, Mary inviting him to her room, where he had died…_God, no, not his daughter!_ He put his head in his hands, trying to fight the wave of nausea. "How could she do that?" he pleaded. He massaged his temples, thinking about all the rumours spreading through London, wondering whether they could be quashed.

Cora instinctively went to him and put her hand on his shoulder to reassure him. She had had enough experience of his quick temper, yet it was this helpless emotion that she found hardest to deal with. She hadn't seen him like this see the miscarriage, and even then he kept most of it hidden from her.

Robert looked up. He had almost forgotten she was there. He reached up and took her hand. Her strange actions this morning made sense now - he understood her wanting to spare Mary a confession. Yet something still didn't make sense…he took a sip from his glass, savouring the sharp taste in his mouth, going through the details of that weekend in his mind. Thomas (of all people - he'd bet Downton itself that he was the source of the rumours) was his valet, Thomas found him dead in bed…

"He died in the Stanhope Room."

She shook her head.

"Cora, he was found in the Stanhope." He was sure now, yet was there more? Something she hadn't told him?

Cora couldn't meet his eyes. She feared her next words would cost her his love and trust. "He died in Mary's bed. She woke me up and I helped her move him back." She decided to leave Anna out.

"You moved him?" he repeated quietly. He clutched his glass tightly, trying to fit the pieces together and suppress the sickening feeling in his stomach. He tried desperately to get a sequence of unpleasant images out of his mind - Mary with Pamuk in her bed, Mary and Cora carrying his corpse the length of Downton. His glass came down with a violet crash which made Cora jump. He marched over to the window, keeping his back to her.

Cora watched him at the window, waiting quietly as he composed himself. When he finally spoke, it wasn't the anger she was expecting. Instead his voice was quiet and menacing, his back still to her.

"Why didn't you tell me at the time?"

"I didn't want to hurt you, darling. I thought it could be managed." The words were heartfelt yet they sounded strangely pathetic now. His retort was flung at her coldly.

"You didn't want to hurt me? Don't you think it's worse now? How do you think it would have hurt me reading the sordid details in the newspaper? It's been FOUR years, Cora! God knows, we've both heard rumours about Mary…every time we see Rosamund, she's convinced Mary was up to her neck in scandal...and every time, EVERY time, you told me not to worry. Don't you see the damage you've caused by your actions? How can I trust you now, when you've been lying to me for four years!"

"What good would it have done, if you had known? What EXACTLY would you have done, Robert?" Cora knew he was right, yet she felt she had to defend herself - yes, she had deceived him but it had been in his best interests.

"I would have made sure the rumours were not spreading round London as we speak!"

"How? By denying them? Even acknowledging the rumours confirms they are true. Or would you dismiss half the servants? "

She was right. Of course she was right and he hated her for it. He felt weak and ineffective now. Earl of Grantham indeed. He wasn't even master of his wife and daughter. "And is there anything else? Anything you haven't told me? I know London society these days seems to think marriage vows are no more than a business contract-" He regretted saying the words as soon as they come out.

She looked away from him, not wanting him to see her tears. "If you think that, Robert-" She knew the words were designed to hurt her, and they had succeeded.

Robert saw her tears and felt instant remorse. He wanted to go to her now - to apologise and reassure her. Then he remembered - he had been deceived and lied to. He recalled breaking the news of Pamuk's death to her gently and making sure she wasn't upset. And yet she had known all along - because the night before, she had carried Pamuk's corpse the length of the house. _Could _he trust her again? Did he even know her?

Cora watched him as he turned round to stare out the window again."You're not going to speak to Mary?" She had to be sure - she didn't want that confrontation inflicted on her daughter.

He shrugged dismissively, having forgotten their original reason for coming into the Library. "I can't say my opinion of her won't have altered, but I'm sure Richard Carlisle will soon be in her clutches, anyway."

"It's one mistake-"

_"_That could cost her dearly," he snapped. "Not to mention Edith and Sybil's prospects. If it gets anywhere near the newspapers, Downton's reputation, EVERYTHING I've worked for will be in ruins."

"You exaggerate-"

"Do I?" he turned round sharply. He checked himself, then carried on wearily: "I'll write to Murray. This is certainly newsworthy but I'll see if we can prevent any more damage." He dreaded the humiliation of having to explain the whole sordid affair.

Cora nodded mutely. She walked over to him, kissing his neck. He didn't move, still staring out the window in private thought.

Robert heard the door close. He felt suddenly old and powerless. The army didn't want him, he couldn't prevent his daughter taking a lover under his own roof, his family and servants had kept a secret from him for four years. His mastery of Downton now seemed a façade, a show. He felt shamefully guilty for driving Bates away.

He looked round the room that held so many memories. Nothing had been changed or altered in this room since his father had died - he couldn't bear it. He remembered it was when sitting at his father's old desk, looking out onto the lawns that he first _felt_ like the new Earl of Grantham. And Cora had supported and encouraged him through it all. He had considered himself lucky, looking on with sympathy as his friend's wives had cheated on them, humiliated them, lied to them. And now Cora…tears pricked his eyes.

Life, he supposed, still had to go on. He sat down and started composing a letter to his lawyer.

_Thanks to hat in the box for being my beta. I'm still relatively new to fanfic, so I'd appreciate a review to tell me what you think._


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